I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
