I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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