So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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