If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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