Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
