Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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