i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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