I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
