We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
