I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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