Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
