so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
