What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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