We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
