I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
3pm strippers are depressing
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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