You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize