This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
