I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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