The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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