it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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