You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
