Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
