What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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