I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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