So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't turn off my feet"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
