so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
