pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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