He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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