Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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