Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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