you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
