Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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