piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
