I heard we made out
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize