This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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