Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
