And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
