I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
