i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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