Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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