so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
