idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
