i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is wine microwaveable?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
