Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
