I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
