i think my tv is drunk
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize