I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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