Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
