I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
