On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
