We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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