Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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