how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize