I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
that is very illegal...i love you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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