Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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