im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
