I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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