so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
vagina is talking i cant
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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