Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
