You're so nebulous sometimes
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize