what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
