If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
