I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
should my penis look like a turkey
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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