haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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