i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
