My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
