Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
