That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
