To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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