Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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