I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
