you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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