I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
