pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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