I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
