help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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