Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
