oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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