the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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