just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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